"I'm excited to see what's gonna happen... GOD surprises me in ways i couldn't even imagine....thank you LORD for all the blessings i received and will receive :)"
Yan ang nabasa kong status mo the other day. Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung anu mararamdaman ko. Pero ang pilit kong sinisiksik sa isip ko ay masaya ako. Totoo. Alam mo bang ilang beses ka ng nasama sa evening prayers ko? I'm always asking God for your true happiness and finally mahanap at makilala mo na rin ung right partner for you. Yung totoong mamahalin ka at aalagaan ka. And to tell you the truth, tears were falling down on my cheeks while whispering those words. it seems like a silent remorse was happening to me. Kahit wala naman talaga akong dapat ika guilty.
I still remember that time na out of the blue eh bigla kang nag-open sa kin. Still remember those words we exchanged and that brief conversation we made.
So, sabihin mo sakin, 'di ba dapat matuwa ako dahil i think finally sinagot na ni God ang prayers natin. Kahit na nung mga time na yun ay hindi ko alam kung bakit ko nga ba ginagawa yun. Hindi naman tayo close at never kitang naka-usap ng matagal. Pero everytime na ipipikit ko ang mga mata ko at makikipag-uasp kay Lord ay naalala kita. Hindi ko talaga masagot that time those why's clinging on my mind.
Pero kanina, iba na naman ang sinasabi mo. I feel again your pain and sense your hope has gone. How could that be? I smell the presence of giving up.
All is a mystery. You're such an enigma to me. I can't trully read you.
Pero my isa akong nadiscover.And finally, i found the answer for those why's im avoiding in.I don't know if you'll ever understand me. Don't care completely for your reaction.
These are the truth at least i discover. I'm just a fool , afraid girl to go out from my comfort zone.I don't want to be hurt again and so afraid na pag hindi ka pa nakakita ng totoong magmamahal sayo ay ipiprisinta ko na ang sarili ko. Alam mo ba yun? But i'm such a paranoid. so afraid for any rejections. And i don't want to receive any pain coming from you. I'm always begging God to find you the onefaster. Dahil natatakot na ko sa mga nararamdaman ko towards you. Baka dumating yung time na hindi ko na mapigilan pa 'to.That's true.
For every attempt you made to say goodbye for your feelings and failed it seems that the hurt is rebounding to me and i suffer twice you feel. You're always saying "mahirap talagang magmahal ng sa simula pa lang alam mo ng may mahal ng iba". i can feel your pain.True. but i'm not sure if i also feel the same. Pero nararamdamn ko na malapit na.
So please, i dont want to hear any pain from you. I want you to be happy with your life and find a girl who will trully love you, not the one who always hurt you. Forgerher. Be happy so i can back to my true self .Move on with your life so i can and move mine.
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